Yes, I claim him. I know it's hard to believe but he is mine. Like all brothers, we have had a friendly rivalry for years. We need to show each other who is the most manly of men. We have categories like most hair, tallest, fattest, etc. We had to give up wrestling when we got older and neither one of us cold get on the floor or get up anymore (he always won so this was in my favor). For the record, I am taller but he has more hair. Our weight goes back and forth all the time so, I'll just call that a tie.
In reality, he is a pretty impressive human being (if you need a second opinion, he will explain why if you ask him). Let's see… he is part very successful software services sales engineer, part farmer and rancher, part hunter, part husband and father of three, part slum lord, and three parts legend in his own mind. He is smart, fairly good looking (almost as good looking as me), funny, big hearted, a terrifying driver, thoughtful, well spoken and a speak his mind kind of guy. No wonder I look up to him in many ways (though in doing so, I have to physically look down). Just look at the following two images.
The man has pet Canadian Geese! He has a large pond behind his house filled with about 20 geese, turtles, fish, musk rats, and the occasional beaver. Ordinarily this would be no big deal however, MY brother has them trained to come to dinner and hand feeds them! He even got me in on the act (the better looking but hair challenged one is me). We even pet them! Who does that? He is a regular Dr. Doolittle. He even has two pet horses and dogs to go with his geese. He picks up snakes! I run in terror from snakes and spiders, screaming like a little girl.
The man likes to get dirty but wears a good suit like he is a model in GQ (though Dude, you could use an update in your dress shoe style). When he walks into a room, he owns it. You know those beer commercials about the worlds most interesting man? I have always secretly thought they were modeled after my brother.
The real clincher is that he shares all of this with everybody around him. He wanted me to experience feeding the geese. He wanted me to know of the hidden windows at the aquarium (absolutely incredible views with no crowds).
So the next time you hear him telling one of is many incredible tales of his exploits, maybe hunting tigers on the back of his elephant while playing the violin, you will just have to consider for a moment and wonder… wow, did he really do that? I mean, he is a legend and there seems to be a lot of truth behind his wild stories. I have never been able to disprove any of them and have been witness to quite a few.
That's all for now, he just captured an alligator with his bare hands and is going to fry up some gator tail for me. I think we are going to wash it down with some beer he made with the barley he grew in his back yard during his spare time, just before he told the CIA where he had tracked down Bin Laden). Don't believe me? You prove otherwise!
As a final word to all of you out there with great brothers of your own… DREAM ON! This one is all mine! Get your own incredible brother. And you ladies? His wife will tear you to shreds so don't even think about it.