I see this sign everyday as the nurse pushes me onto the patio for some "fresh air". Some days she forgets me and I get two or three hours in the sunshine. Most days, I like the time to myself. I take the opportunity to let my mind wander and to remember the old days. Often I get a good chuckle as my memory brings back some of the better moments. Like the day I met Lilly at the state fair over in Columbus. Boy, she was a looker and full of piss and vinegar. In all her life, she never changed.
Then again, on some days, the weather is cold or rainy and I would rather stroll through the years in the comfort of my room.
Today, the words on the side of the building got me wondering. Would I pay cash for some extra time? Another six months spent in this chair or in that bed. More time with a catheter, tubes, pills, and the beeping machines? Money for six more monthly visits from my niece and her pretty girls? Twelve more calls from my boy and his girl down south someplace? When did my life become just a game of numbers? Small sums and figures? the money? It's all planned out. Except for the college money for the girls, my boy will get what is left. He's earned it, he's a good kid turned fine man.
Would I go for the extra time? No, I don't suppose I would. I'll let God have his way. I'm not ready, but I'm not gonna fight it either.
Six months same as cash. I don't think they are the same and it doesn't seem like a bargain no matter how you look at it.